May 10, 2012

the biggest deal in the world. right now. to me.

People move every day. So me being all, "We're moving!! SO SAD!" for weeks has everyone going, "Shut it and move on, girl." I bet. But I can't! Yet. Toph and I have only lived in two apartments since getting married 5 years ago (tomorrow! our 5 year anniversary is tomorrow!?!). We've only moved once. Our first apartment was an experience. We re-did the floors, painted everything, took the popcorn off the ceilings, and re-did the kitchen and bathroom from the floor up while living there. We lived there two years and when we moved, I bawled. (I get really attached to places, not things.) Those first two years of marriage were hard (to say the least) and I thought I was ready to move on and start somewhere fresh by the end. When it actually came time to walk through the empty apartment one last time before locking up though, I just stared into each room still filled with good and bad memories and didn't want to leave.

Apartment number two here in Davis was a surprise. We didn't get to see it before moving in and it turned out to be your typical student housing: white walls, half the size of our first apartment, crappy parking, and cement floors. But we loved it immediately and we made it home. A few months ago, I was getting trunky. I was feeling ready for a new space to decorate and a new daily routine. Then we started packing. Packing up Bronson's room yesterday was the hardest part so far. I just kept thinking about him being tiny and rocking him to sleep in that little room. About finally getting the decor just how I liked it and all the fun we'd had in there together. Reading books, drawing on his chalkboard wall, sewing in my corner while he slam dunked on his bball hoop (bad memories of tantrums and all nighters begone!). And it all hit me again: I don't want to leave! 

These past three years have been the best of our marriage so far and honestly, law school rocked for us and brought us closer as a couple (mushy mush). It went by so fast and I don't feel ready for the next phase yet. The next phase is one of uncertainty, we're leaving school (like so many others) without a job offer and we're moving in with my parents for the summer while Toph studies for the bar. We've never lived with family before and even though I'm excited to have more people to hang out with, and to have more help with Bronson while Toph's off studying, it's going to be an adjustment for sure. (Also: free rent!! We're excited for that too, thanks parents!!)

So many good things happened for us in Davis and I'm sure life will be stable and normal again someday, but for right now, things feel wonky.
I started this blog when we moved here and it's the end of an era. It's become the catch all for recording trips, holidays, toddler convos, birthdays, date nights, anniversaries, and so much of B's life.The blog will definitely go on with us but things will be different.
Just leaving behind our insanely fast on campus housing internet will be a big change. :(

People keep asking what we're most excited about now that law school is over. Why, paying off the soul crushing debt, of course!! False. I'm most excited for maybe getting a job and settling into another familiar that I can get attached to again. Toph's most excited to wear all those fancy robes at his graduation next week.
What we're gonna miss though, is too long to list (top three: dollar pizza, freepiles, and being walking distance from literally all that is necessary to have a happy life). For reals. Goodbye Davis!!! (For now!) We've lurved your hippie, bike riding face to pieces.